See The Tears In My Eyes
by Jolene A

See the tears in my eyes as everyday goes by
And by the amount of pain I’m carrying inside of me
Hiding all the hurt and pain just feels like I’m going insane
Hiding all my sadness in happiness
When I have flashbacks that’s why you see tracks
Of scars on my arms trying to get the pain out of me
I just hate it when I do that and everybody telling me to stop
But now I realize that there is a better place
And for some reason they knew that my family was going to fall apart
When they were sick and they died I cried and cried
Couldn’t let them go
My cousin held me back from my grandmas’ coffin
And I just felt like dropping when they took her away
I knew that my grandma was going to say something
As days went by I still couldn’t figure out why she had to die on my birthday
My family loved her so especially my grandpa
Missing her so much he died of loneliness
Nine days after my brothers’ birthday
When they put him on the stretcher I couldn’t take it
He had an oxygen mask on
I looked at him and he looked at me
I had a tear strolling down my cheek
I wanted to go with him but I couldn’t
He went to the hospital with the medivac plane
When he left it took a long walk around the block
On January 20, 2005
He was still smiling when he closed his eyes
Knowing that he’s going to go see my grandma
Where the grass is green and everything is clean
Now I’m tiring to move on from the hurt and pain
That made me go insane
And now I know I’ll see them one day.